Saturday, September 18, 2010


This is my life.

Once upon a time, I craved donuts. I love donuts. So Melissa took me to get donuts. This is why I love her.

Then I came home, and my father asked me about donuts. He asked me where Melissa and I got them: "Did you go to Dick's?" And I just said, "Oh, we don't have Dick's."

For real, that happened. 

I immediately knew what I had said, but since I was in the presence of my father, I kind of swallowed my snort. Until my brother started snickering, and then I just couldn't stop laughing. And dad started laughing in his wheezy way, doubling over, tears flowing from his eyes. Melissa laughed indifferently. And I was just dying of laughter.

Total "LOL" moment.
More like "ROFL," actually.
Or even just a great "ROFLOL."

And, yes, we really don't have Dick's in Provo.


Thursday, September 16, 2010

A Bit Obsessed

So, for a while now, I've been hearing about "A Very Potter Musical," a parody done by some college. Last weekend, I got around to watching it. And it was hilarious. Seriously. I was laughing so much, so loudly--Melissa kept checking up on me. But it was just so great. It was long and some of it was lame, but most of it was fabulous. Like to-die-for funny. Watch it. It will change your life. 

But, anyways, I was watching highlights again today and all the songs were stuck in my head. Then I was watching TV spots for the upcoming film and I was just on this Harry Potter high. And I suddenly wanted so badly for there to be a real Harry Potter musical. I would totally pay money for that. 
Actually, I'd pay money for any production 
to get Daniel Radcliffe out of my head. 

I hate those movies. 

Wouldn't that be so awesome? I would love it. It'd be sick.
So sick I just used that word.

Just to inspire you all to agree, here is a clip from the first song in AVPM: "Get Back to Hogwarts." And can I just say I love Draco? So if you're only going to watch part of it, watch his (her?) part. You'll know when it is. LOVE IT! It's--ahem--"totally awesome."

Doesn't it make you wish a million things at once? Like...that you could really be excited to go to school, or that you could sing about it. That life could be a musical--period--with dances choreographed and everything. And that you could be a wizard (Slytherin!) and just hug the crap out of Malfoy. Or even that you could just go to the Wizarding World Theme Park (I would sell my kidney to get there right now). And, most of all, that there was a real, real, real Harry Potter musical. I would love that more than almost anything. 

Then again, I'm going through this weird, overwhelming, sudden Harry Potter craze. 
In one of my classes, we were talking 
about the characteristics of the Epic genre 
(basically, an unlikely hero, supernatural elements, 
years of complex journeying, and trials and such)--
think the Iliad or the Odyssey--and my 
professor asked for some modern examples. 
The first thing that came to mind?

 Harry Potter.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Kill Me Now

Okay, so this is highly embarrassing, but, whatever.

Last night, I was getting ready for bed around 11:35 and everyone else was asleep. So I'm writing in my journal about how happy a day it was (not.) and how I'm pretty stoked to go to bed and just sleep. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see this disgusting
brown spider. And I about died. 
It was crawling along my baseboard at rather a fast pace and I immediately start whispering in a panicked voice, "omigosh, omigosh" over and over again. Before I can grab a shoe, it was under my bed and I was doing this nervous, panicked dance. 
You know, where you feel like your skin is crawling 
so you start jumping around, touching yourself. 

That sounds awkward.  

So I look and see if Melissa is awake, or my roommate who loves killing spiders. But the apartment is silent. Except for me. I am still dancing around, having a panic attack. I pull my bed away from the wall, but I don't see the spider anywhere. So then I'm curled up on my little desk chair, my hands shaking, and I know--I KNOW--I cannot sleep if I don't find and destroy that spider. I even contemplate sleeping right there, on my chair. Or pulling an all-nighter. Or sleeping on the floor, thinking even that is better than sleeping where a spider is hiding under me. 

Instead, I knock on Melissa's doors. I knock with my knuckles, with my fist, with my palm. I scratch at the door, I text her, I whisper her name. Nope, she is dead asleep. So I go back in my room, little panicked tears escaping my eyes, and an inner dialogue that goes something like this:
"Omigosh omigosh omigosh
if it just comes out, 
if I see it I can kill it
if I can just see it.
oh I'd so rather see it than not. 
I need it out from my bed.
I'm gonna die.
I can't breathe.
omigosh omigosh omigosh."

And then I suddenly see it crawling up my curtain. And I start whispering "omigosh" louder and faster. But I can't kill it. Because, one, that would ruin my curtain. Two, I am a big believer in closing my eyes and smashing things as hard as I can, so I would probably break the window or the blinds or miss and it would DESTROY me. So I'm just standing in my room, doing my nervous dance, still crying pathetically, clutching at my throat like I would rather kill myself than face a spider. And then, instead of crawling onto my wall, it crawls into my blinds. And then I really freak out. Because that is definitely not a one-man job. I mean, if I were to open the blinds, it would jump out and bite me and I would die and it would lay babies in my corpse. So I finally call Melissa. And then I knock, and she finally moves. 

Lucky for me, my sister loves me and understands--even shares--my fear of large arachnids. So she calmly comes in, pulls my bed away from the window, and prepares to pull the blinds while I stand ready with a shoe. Still doing my nervous dance. 

Up, up they go spider. OH. MY. GOSH. I almost collapsed into a heap and cried right there. Where did it go? I hate being plagued with that question when it comes to spiders. Melissa said maybe it crawled outside. Well, the idea of my window having a big enough hole for spiders to crawl in and out of wasn't exactly comforting. She told me to just leave my bed in the middle of the room and to just stop thinking about it. 

Let me tell you, easier said than done. I was still screaming "omigosh" in my head as I checked all my sheets, pillows, and blankets. Then I burrowed under them, engulfing myself in a very stuffy cocoon. I plugged into my ipod, listening to loud, soothing songs and playing solitaire, pretending I did not feel my skin crawling. 

Worst. Night. Ever. 

Friday, September 3, 2010

That's Me For Ya

Today, I was watching a TV show while brushing my teeth. And then something cute happened (on the show) and so I "awwed." Immediately, I choked on toothpaste; gasped, thus pulling my toothbrush deeper into my throat; coughed, spewing spit everywhere; and eventually tripped over to the sink to spit it all up.

It was hilarious and I was laughing as I gasped, minty saliva still dribbling from my mouth. Which was disgusting. Then I was just bent over the sink, watching myself fall apart in the mirror, giggling.

It totally made my day.
And it wasn't even that cute a moment, really
(on the show).

Also, my sister is famous. The BYU website has a slideshow of "Back to School" moments, and there she is....  
cute, huh?
(She's the one scrunched up in green,
hiding her face from the camera she knew was there.
Meanwhile, her friend boldly sits, 
soaking up the attention.