So, I was in said meeting, bored out of my mind, soon realizing my questions would be at the very end. I had my computer out, so I casually logged onto Facebook, expecting to simply waste time. But then Laura logged on. And it all went downhill. She told me a lovely story about telling some guy they should make cute babies together.
(Whoa, that sounds dirty.)
But it was a hilarious story, and I had to swallow a giggle. Remember, I am in a very solemn assembly of 12 people all focused in on technobabble that I could not understand; I was pretending to take notes, and laughing was not an option. And things just got worse.
Shelby: Who is this man?
Laura: He's not a man, he's a six year old boy.
And I about died. I seriously started shaking from laughter buried deep within me, just rising up into my throat, desperate to get out. But I couldn't let it out. I just covered my mouth and painfully choked on my laugh. And it continues.
Laura: Just kidding. He's 15. I'm so funny.
Shelby: you know when you have a laugh
that NEEDS to get out but you can't let it?
So you hold your breath?
Laura: yes indedd. then I faint.
Shelby: ya. that just happened.
Laura: and everything is so much funnier
when you're not allowed to laugh.
haha except he's not 6
but that's why it's funny
ah! I am so silly right now.
And I tried to log off, because my chest hurt from suppressed laughter and my neighbors were starting to look at my shaking self strangely. So I told Laura I was getting off. About...3 seconds later, I was back on, unable to avoid temptation. And this is what I came back to.
Laura: I just said that out loud
"I'm so silly right now" and sophie looked at me
It was great
And I nearly laughed out loud, picturing Laura, talking to herself, her blond hair bouncing a little as she bobbled her head in excitement. Like a little puppy.
Shelby: I'm going to have a giggle fit
Laura: Ha! Those are the best. I get them at work
and then customers look at me funny.
Then I say "don't judge me"
Shelby: I talk out loud when I chat online too.
Except not right now, because then people
would think I'm INSANE
Laura: Haha do it!
Just start whispering under your breathe
I was about to throw up, not laughing was so hard.
Shelby: Stop. making. me. laugh
Laura: you should say "stop. making. me. laugh." out loud.
Twould be hilarious
Shelby: Did you mean to say twould?
Laura: yes I did. Like "twas the night before
christmas" but more like "twould you care to dance?"
And here's where it got morbid.
Shelby: I just told myself to think of dead puppies
to keep myself from laughing
Laura: hahahahaha that just made me do a deep giggle
dead puppies being bunted over a fence.
hahaha that's terrible. then the thought
of Sophie being bunted over a fence made me cry.
Shelby: laura you are going to be the death of me
I keep wanting to laugh--over dead puppies!
Laura: you should just laugh, and then it'll go quiet
and awkward and everyone will look at you, and it twill be like the movies.
yest. twil. twill.
Shelby: twon't. I have to go. I can't do it.
For real. tbye
Oh, man, even writing this, I just want to laugh and laugh and laugh. In that meeting, not laughing physically hurt. Tears came to my eyes; my body was screaming at me, shouting to just let it out, release the tension, and just LOL. But I (mostly) kept myself under control. Aside from the tears and the inexplicable shuddering, I behaved normally. I think some of them--the ones I was sitting by, and none of the adults--knew I was dying from laughter. They found my pain humorous. Then again, so did I. It was probably the best work meeting I've ever had.